Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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