HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
