Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
