Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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