the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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