make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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