I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
