Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
