For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
