last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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