Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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