Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
