Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she was so not down for the gang bang
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
