My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize