why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
