god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
