The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
