I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
