That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
