Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
