I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
