just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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