Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
