a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
