She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
