I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
