4 words: hood of his car
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
