We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize