Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
