oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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