I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
