we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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