If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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