She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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