I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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