I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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