While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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