I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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