What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
