Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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