This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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