Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
