Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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