i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
