We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize