All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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