Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
