Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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