Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
