quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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