i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
