i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
