Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
