white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
