I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
