After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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