i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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