i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
