he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
