all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
