i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
