Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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