He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
