the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
