i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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