Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
