Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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