party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
