Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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