I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize