A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
