so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think people are normalizing furries
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
