i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
